Best Laid Plans...

I haven't been around much, sorry about that. I have an award from Jenn and a give away win from Tracey I meant to post, since DECEMBER, but I figured the Christmas rush would be over and I would have plenty of time.

I FINALLY took down my Christmas cards, yes, on VALENTINE's Day.

I still need to take my Christmas/Winter decorations off my front door, but don't have the gumption to do it.

I lay on the couch most of the time feeling nauseous, and none of my clothes are loose enough to be comfortable, but I haven't gained weight. I rarely have had the energy to even use my laptop, sitting upright for long is just too uncomfortable.

I've puked three times in the last week, but I don't have the flu.

I can't cook dinner any more, the smell of it drives me to hide under the blankets of my bed, and I refuse to allow my husband to cook anything for longer than 20 minutes, same reason. I did put a roast in a crock pot yesterday with no problem, but I let it cook in our garage.

I can't stay up past nine without feeling disgustingly bloated up so that I can't stand myself anymore.

I overheat at the drop of a hat, and the overheating makes me nauseous. But my feet are ALWAYS freezing cold.

So, if you showed up to read this, and made it this far, you either know what I'm about to say, or deserve to find out.

I'm pregnant.

Yeah. Uh huh. I know. We can't afford it, we have no where to put him/her (her? who are we kidding?) and after the last pregnancy the odds that this one will go well are extremely slim.

And I don't want to be pregnant. Yes, I know what causes it, the methods of prevention, not to get careless, please spare us the lectures. We do, well, did all that, and here I am. The only thing to save me now is divine intervention, which would be ok with me. My poor kids have suffered enough lately, the Lord has put us through a lot. It just seems mean spirited to ask them to go through this now.

OK, the part you hung in for. The reason you are still reading, and hopefully don't walk away hating me.

But, the Lord God Himself knows best for me, and my family, and this little person that appears to want to join us. He knows what will strengthen us, and what we can do to uplift His other children. He knows where we belong, and when we need to come, and I'll be darned if I am going to argue with Him about it.

No, even though my youngest born starts preschool this fall, and I had all sorts of ideas on how to spend that time (I even applied for a job, hah!!) the fact of the matter is the Lord knows best, and I trust Him.

I might not be too thrilled about it as I lay exhausted from... well, blogging, on my couch, but I'll get past that. And we will do what it takes to clothe, feed, and love another baby. Who will grow to be a fine young person who may very well save the world. The potential is always there. We just have to let God do His work.