Friday, February 27, 2009

The News You've All Been Waiting For...

It's a BABY!

Yep. The heart is beating, and the little person has been there for a WHOPPING 10 1/2 weeks. I have to admit, I let out a little shout for joy knowing it was a week and a half more than we had originally thought.

That works for me.

September 20, for those of you who care to mark their calendars.

Heaven help us all!

Yes, I have pictures.

No, I haven't copied them to put them on here.

Give me a few months, I will get to it.

The boys? Mixed reactions, mostly trying to figure out what all of this means. You know, kind of like Mom and Dad are trying to do. ;-)

Thank you for your prayers. I'm still sick as a dog for now, feel free to keep them coming!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Girl Scout Cookie Time!!

I saw this at Count it all Joy, and couldn't resist!

Oddly, these are my favorite cookie, with Thin mints and those coconut ones!

You Are Peanut Butter Patties / Tagalongs
You are creative and artistic. When you think, you tend to think big.
You go for the drama. You love excitement and passion... even if it gets you in trouble.

You are intense and a little self centered. You can be quite full of yourself (but not without reason).
You tend to be very indulgent. If you feel like having something, you go ahead and treat yourself.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

From my Mom...

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

Friday, February 20, 2009

My Blessings

I want to thank everyone, including my aunts through email, for their sweet thoughts and comments, it has been really nice opening my email to sporadically find people thinking of us and wishing us well.

I also want to warn you, this blog is the closest thing I have to a journal right now. I have learned to hesitate from putting my most intimate thoughts, this is after all the Internet. And I enjoy meeting new friends and reading about each other's lives. There is a mom in Chicago who could be me five years ago!

But this whole pregnancy issue is such that I just feel I have embarked on an emotional roller coaster, and if you are willing to hang on tight you are invited to come. I can't promise where we will end up, unlike parks and Disney we may get dropped miles from the beginning. But the Lord promises me it will be where we need to be. I can't begin a separate pregnancy blog, as I have seen others do, because unlike other women being pregnant seems to consume every fiber of my being, and I can only be one person. If it's too much to take, know I love you, and won't be mad if you leave me for awhile.

At the moment, things are really good. I feel the need to count my blessings, they may not all be blessings in your eyes, but they sure are in mine!

1. First and foremost, my wonderful husband. The man is truly a gem, even though he had the nerve to ask me if I was ok when I was in the middle of barfing my guts out the other night. He also manages to do every little thing I ask him to, and the man keeps house better than me, even with a 50 hour a week job. The best part, is that when I ask him to come and sit with me instead of whatever he was doing, because I need a distraction from myself, he jumps to it. I could never get through this without him.

2. My kids. I have four, you know, potentially a fifth on the way. They love each other, they love me. They worry about me, they teach me, they even take care of me. My darling three year old loves to come up to me when I'm not feeling well and say, "Mommy, do you want me to get you a drink of water?" He also asked about Advil until I finally told him Mommy can't have Advil anymore right now. He's a peach. They all are. Michael hugs me with great frequency to help me feel better, and Brian and Dustin are quick to do anything, firewood into the stove, make their little brothers' lunch, anything I'm not up to doing. They even pick up toys and fold laundry, bless their hearts forever. Oh, and they read Zachary stories, a true gift.

3. My mom. My whole extended family, but really the most is my mom. I told her about all of this last Tuesday, and she called me that Friday morning to tell me she finally woke up without a headache. She thinks she is past worrying now, because really she is not a worrier and worrying won't help a thing anyway!

4. I have enough. I have a warm house, food to eat, clothes for myself and my family, and even a little extra. We even got satellite service back this week, I never knew how much I would miss Noggin.

***WARNING*** It's about to become VERY random.

5. Noggin. I actually watched it the first hour after the installer left, even though the older boys were at a movie and Z was asleep!

6. I've been feeling a bit better since Sunday. Smells still get me badly, but yesterday I even forgot to eat my mid-morning snack until my stomach lurched.

7. I threw up last night. It was the after taste in my mouth that did it, it was nauseating so I tried brushing my teeth, figuring either I'd be better off or puke. I puked.

8. Puking is a blessing to list. You see, miscarriage tends to follow feeling suddenly better, as my hormone levels drop. So being sick like that suggests still pregnant.

9. Still pregnant seems like a blessing. A week ago, it didn't, but man, if my pregnancy could go on like this, I could not just live with it, but be happy in the midst!! Ah, the gifts of God.

10. Prayer. I am so grateful I can talk to my Father in Heaven, and know that He will listen to me, and help me feel better, even if the trial doesn't go away.

11. Scriptures. I have my very own copy you know. There was a time that such a thing was hard to come by. Now scriptures are everywhere, even on the .net, and yet people don't make the time to read them. Lately, I have made time, and I am grateful. If this pregnancy doesn't result in a baby, but does result in my daily scripture study being strengthened, it will all be worth it.

12. My friends. I have great friends online, but I have superfabulousfantastical friends in real life. They are good to me.

13. Sneakers. I like my sneakers.

OK, I'm tired now. The rest of my blessings will be numbered in my head. Nap time.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Best Laid Plans...

I haven't been around much, sorry about that. I have an award from Jenn and a give away win from Tracey I meant to post, since DECEMBER, but I figured the Christmas rush would be over and I would have plenty of time.

I FINALLY took down my Christmas cards, yes, on VALENTINE's Day.

I still need to take my Christmas/Winter decorations off my front door, but don't have the gumption to do it.

I lay on the couch most of the time feeling nauseous, and none of my clothes are loose enough to be comfortable, but I haven't gained weight. I rarely have had the energy to even use my laptop, sitting upright for long is just too uncomfortable.

I've puked three times in the last week, but I don't have the flu.

I can't cook dinner any more, the smell of it drives me to hide under the blankets of my bed, and I refuse to allow my husband to cook anything for longer than 20 minutes, same reason. I did put a roast in a crock pot yesterday with no problem, but I let it cook in our garage.

I can't stay up past nine without feeling disgustingly bloated up so that I can't stand myself anymore.

I overheat at the drop of a hat, and the overheating makes me nauseous. But my feet are ALWAYS freezing cold.

So, if you showed up to read this, and made it this far, you either know what I'm about to say, or deserve to find out.

I'm pregnant.

Yeah. Uh huh. I know. We can't afford it, we have no where to put him/her (her? who are we kidding?) and after the last pregnancy the odds that this one will go well are extremely slim.

And I don't want to be pregnant. Yes, I know what causes it, the methods of prevention, not to get careless, please spare us the lectures. We do, well, did all that, and here I am. The only thing to save me now is divine intervention, which would be ok with me. My poor kids have suffered enough lately, the Lord has put us through a lot. It just seems mean spirited to ask them to go through this now.

OK, the part you hung in for. The reason you are still reading, and hopefully don't walk away hating me.

But, the Lord God Himself knows best for me, and my family, and this little person that appears to want to join us. He knows what will strengthen us, and what we can do to uplift His other children. He knows where we belong, and when we need to come, and I'll be darned if I am going to argue with Him about it.

No, even though my youngest born starts preschool this fall, and I had all sorts of ideas on how to spend that time (I even applied for a job, hah!!) the fact of the matter is the Lord knows best, and I trust Him.

I might not be too thrilled about it as I lay exhausted from... well, blogging, on my couch, but I'll get past that. And we will do what it takes to clothe, feed, and love another baby. Who will grow to be a fine young person who may very well save the world. The potential is always there. We just have to let God do His work.