Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Just reread my last post...

...and realized all the things that I was planning or had done... NOT planning to be pregnant.

I was going to go to the gym this fall.

I was going to enroll Z in Pre K. (Now I'm worrying he is too young, I've heard many a kindergarten teacher talk about the difference between fall/spring babies and summer babies!)

I was going to clean out and rearrange Michael and Zachary's room.

I was going to hang shelves in there.

I was going to keep up with the motivated moms list and have a cleaner house.

I was going on vacation with my mom this summer.

I was going to plant a garden and can vegetables.

I was going to focus on frugality and saving money.




Instead?

I'm pregnant, and I can't seem to get out of my own way.

My husband reminded me, per my request, that I NEVER was able to cook supper when I was pregnant with Zachary, not without throwing up anyway.

He's going to a firemen's supper tonight.

We are going through the drive thru.



Am I depressed?

I think part of me is trying awfully hard to be.

But... I can actually feel the baby move. Oh, well, I have to lay almost totally on my stomach and it probably squishes the poor little guy kid but then I feel him her IT moving ever so slightly.

Then I remember how terrifying labor is. It took 4 times for me to remember enough that I now know at three months along it is TERRIFYING. Selective memory.

Then I see pictures like this:

He's the newest member on my side of the family.

And get a birth announcement with a sweet picture from Bill's side of the family.

So I read the talk found here:
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-9,00.html

(my linking skills are off!)

that was recommended by a couple of people. It was really good.

And that leaves me at thinking, "Hey, only 187 more days! I can do this!"

Now I'm going to lay down, before I change my mind again!

4 comments:

Alyson said...

ah yes. I have to say. Baby num.4 and I'm TERRIFIED to give birth.
I am reading the book
Birthing from Within. It is helping. A lot.
The premise is...labor hurts but you can do it.
I still don't WANNA THOUGH!!!

Alyson said...

Yes I DO recommend the book I'm reading. It is AMAZING. Although right not the stories about how fearful some women are, I just can't read right now. I am focusing on all the recommendations and positive outcomes. I just need to purge my brain of this fear!!

kbbryant said...

That little guy is a cutie alright!

Kathy b

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I'd love to be in your position... :(

Sorry it's still a little hard to come to terms with. I've never been pregnant by surprise, so I can't reallllly imagine what it'd be like.