Thursday, September 18, 2008

Very emotional post.

This has been floating around in my head for a long time, it's time to get it out and I think this is the venue.

I am a good mom, despite the opinion of anonymous, http://betweenyoumeandthefencepost.blogspot.com/2008/07/in-hospital.html#comments to refresh your memories, or anyone else who cares to offer an opinion. I do not shield my children from all of the world, though I do protect them from situations where they might be maimed or killed. I love them, with all my heart, and while I don't think they are accurate in saying I'm the best mom in the whole world, I am of the opinion that I might be the best mom for them.

I've come to some new conclusions, however, after the events of the last week. I am only the good mom that I am for them, because I seek out the help of others. Oh, I don't hand things over to others until I have become totally confident that they are of the same intentions that I am, and I still micromanage, because really, they are MY kids. With Bill.

Back to my point. There is a scripture that I love. http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/3 will link to it. It reads in part: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

The Lord has given me great blessings. He has also given me a firm testimony. Because of this, he requires much of me. More than I alone could do.

Which is why he gave me people. Other people have been so instrumental in the life of my family, each one of us, that there is no way we would function as well as we do if it wasn't for them. And frankly, I need to take a moment to thank them.

There's the speech pathologist who taught me how to communicate with my son. There's the kindergarten teacher who taught me how to work the system for what my kids need. Understanding teachers who are open to communication, and able and willing to speak frankly with me, because I need it. Countless teachers at church have not only reinforced the gospel with my boys, but also called them at times during the week, and made them feel important. There's our doctor, who reels me in when I need it, and Christina, who is teaching me loads more than I ever knew about how my boys are thinking, and why, and how to help them. There's the firemen, who are so understanding and kind and really seem to like that my boys want to be around them. TBall coaches, Little League coaches, basketball coaches, soccer coaches, moms of their friends who offer them rides, and give them safe places to be. There's the Joy Nichols's, Kim Cooks, Scott Alberts, and Reading Recovery teachers of the world who were so willing and anxious to do anything to help. There are the grandparents and friends, especially best friends, both theirs and mine, who the kids look to as friends of their own. I was so grateful that when Michael was asked to list off the people who love him last night, Nicki and Melissa, and their families were all on the list. Even Savannah, because I'm sure she still loves him, too. The 4H leader who happens to be their uncle, but also the whole working steer community at the fairs, who love my boys and encourage them. The GT teacher who presents them with opportunities and stands back to see if they bite, giving a nudge if necessary. Blog friends who offer words of encouragement from time to time. We have a village, people. And it takes a village.

These people, all of whom are inspiring my kids, my husband, and me to be our best when we are with them, are a gift. They are gifts for a mom who has had to endure depression, stress levels to the point where I couldn't eat without pain when Michael was a baby, children with unique needs and perspectives, children with such high capacities that they need more knowledge given to them than I could ever manage. Pregnancies that did me in, and service that HAD to be rendered by me, because it was in His plan for us. Learning experiences that would have been too much to bear, except we had others to help us through it. And still do.

I am eternally grateful, grateful to these friends and helpers, and to my Heavenly Father for providing them, that we could face such amazing challenges, and benefit from the blessings therein. Yes, my children are seeing a counselor. She does not have to teach them that I love them, they know it. She is teaching them how to work through their feelings after a tragedy of epic proportion in their lives. When they break a leg, I will also take them to see a doctor, to have it put in a cast and get crutches to still walk. Their injuries are not visible, but still as painful. They are not caused by me, but by the cruelty of a difficult world, one where babies are murdered, and women abused, and where children die of cancer. I am so grateful to have Christina, because just as our doctor could bandage a wound, she can bandage a wounded heart.

Thank you to all our friends. We love you, and appreciate you. And as you have served us, I know that you have indeed served God himself. Never count yourself as unnecessary, you are truly important in our lives.

4 comments:

kbbryant said...

Wonderful insight Marie. It is indeed humbling when we look at the big picture God has for our lives and the way he fits it all together in His plan.

I have come to realize that when I don't ask for help, I am cheating someone out of the ability to be a blessing to me, and the rewards that they can experience through that.

Thanks for your prayer support.

Kathy b

Ashleigh said...

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. . . What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

-Elder Ballard

I also believe that while I'm not a perfect mother (no one is) my children were sent to me because I have something to give that they needed. For everthing else I fall short in, I will depend on grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, neighbors, my friends, doctors and so on. It also make me realize the necesseity and responsiblity we have to help eachother return to our Heavenly Father. No one, and I mean no one, can do this alone. I have something to give that someone can't do for themselves and they have something to give that I need. We're all in this together, it part of our Heavenly Father's plan and it's perfect.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Megan and Sean said...

What the junk!!?? Here's a (((hug)) for what a good person you ARE! And here's a good SWEAR WORD for the dumb butt who said that.

Tracey said...

Try to let anonymous people go about their way. If we acknowledge them, they feel validated.

You truly are blessed! What a group of people to love you and your family...