It's been a fairly dramatic 24 hours. I don't like drama. I'm taking over my friend Melissa's saying, "I have enough drama in my life."
Last night Melissa and Savannah were coming home from the hospital, to arrive around 5:30. Donovan and Kiara would be arriving in town about that time with their grandmother, and I thought it would be nice to have them over for dinner, maybe even squeeze in a Family Home Evening. To find out what that is, click here http://www.lds.org/hf/fhe/welcome/0,16785,4210-1,00.html . Good together time.
Well, their release was delayed, and with Brian H. not getting home from work until 6:45 that left the kids in need of a destination. So I went to meet them, but the process of actually getting them to my home took longer than anticipated, and the meatloaf waited almost an hour. It was edible, but not the usual delight that meatloaf tends to be in my house. Brian arrived in time to help us eat it, but Melissa and Savannah went straight home.
In the midst of sitting down to dinner we got a phone call from Kevin. A pair of linebacker steers was available, a week old and well-matched. But they were headed to a Massachusettes beef auction. Bill and Dustin left immediately after supper to meet the truck driver at Irving's, and an hour later Dustin owned a pair of steers. We do not have warm enough housing for them, so at the moment they are at George and Linda's. I haven't seen them, so no pictures yet.
Right before dinner was supposed to happen, Nicki called to tell me she was going to get a dog this morning. The owners had no desire to care for it, a yellow lab, and it was sorely neglected. Not really wanting a new dog right now, they couldn't ignore the situation, and she went this morning to get her.
Then today, I was looking forward to quietly vegging. I tried to throw myself at Nicki with offers of help, but she adamantly didn't need me. So I spent some time playing with Z, did a bit of blogging, nothing major. Just trying to avoid the laundry. I was content. Then I was called upon to visit a friend. It seemed so simple, but in the process of readying my house to leave, the Lord intervened.
Now some may not believe in personal revelation, but I do. I have felt it in many ways. Some days I have been on my knees and asked the Lord for approval of my choice. Other times, I have sought for an answer to a question I feared had no answer. I'm a self-confessed whimp about many things, if you can fear it, I do. But I'm stubborn, and a control-freak, so when it comes to prayer, I usually wait so long to seek any help that by the time I do ask for it the Lord is ready to answer me with VERY strong responses. I know the voice of the Lord in my heart.
He spoke to my heart today. And instead of going to the home I had been invited to so that I could offer strength, comfort, and support, I went and advised a woman to do something I would never want her to do. You see, it works that way sometimes. We have very strict guidelines in life. We should never kill. But Hitler had to be stopped, didn't he? As a mother, it was unimaginable to me yesterday that I would walk up to this lady and say "The Lord tells me I need to say *this* to you. But he did. And so I did. (No, I did NOT advise her to kill anyone, but it seemed almost as ludicrous!)
It is not always easy to obey the Lord. I want to share a quote from one of the leaders of our church:
"Think of the Savior, whose service you are in. At what point in His mortal life can you see an instance when it was easy for Him? Did He ask easy things of His disciples then? Then why should it ever be easy in His service or for His disciples?" - Henry B. Eyring
I was so reluctant. If I hadn't just been re-instructed by that quote on Sunday, I might not have. I shrunk, quite literally, as I drove there. My speed slowed, and at one point I noticed my posture in my seat was such as to hide from what was to come. But the Lord gives us strength, and provided me with guidance, and I was able to invite the Spirit, who is a much better communicator. I don't believe this person will hold me accountable for the words I spoke, because they were not my own.
And now I sit, in my house, with my children, at my computer. Talking to you, some of you I know who you are, others are a mystery number on a stat-counter. It feels so unfair, to leave that burden with another person, and go home to my comfort zone. But I guess that's how it works sometimes. When I was a younger woman, with a small baby and in need of guidance, I wonder if that's how the women I turned to felt. Sad that they couldn't do more to help. So I leave you with my testimony. God lives, He is our Father who loves us and knows what's best. He sees what we cannot see, He sees our eternal life. He knows it will not be easy to return to Him, but He has also given us the tools, if we will just be brave enough to pick them up and use them. It takes a whole heap of faith, but did you know faith starts as small as a mustard seed? Yup, as a desire to believe, and then with the right nourishment, it can flourish into a beautiful tree.