No, Zachary is better. Now it's me. And oh, do I have a new appreciation for his misery. I understood as he was coughing and hacking away, the hours of rocking in the chair and the sore legs that came to me from it, that he was sick. And miserable. And pathetic. Now, it's me. And I understand how the medicine doesn't even touch it. Poor kid. Poor mom.
But alas, this time I am not looking for sympathy to my post. I feel a need to respond to anonymous, who left a comment this morning regarding my tirade. My first thought was to delete it, it is unkind and judgmental. They have their agency, they need not read my ramblings. One will assume that because I attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, that I would not in a moment of weary frustration say a bad word. Well, I do. Weary frustration and frankly extreme anger have both caused me to use them. Of course I have a choice. There are numerous words in my extensive vocabulary. Just ask Bill.
And yet, in belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ I am not allowed to use them or else I apparently face criticism from people unwilling to sign their name. I use a bad word, in a moment of utter crisis, and I do not do my entire church justice.
I serve with the missionaries to teach investigators. I teach my children to pray. I teach them that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them. I teach them they must love each other, even in anger, and they must repent for sins. I repent for my own. I attend the temple, and do work for my ancestors. I attend my meetings, and serve in the Relief Society presidency. I plan activities to bring less active and non-members to church again. I pray and try to strengthen those in our ward who are weak, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I care for children that are not my own, and place their needs above my own childrens' when it is required, and not just for the Hurley's, Kim Smith and her husband's ailing car will attest to that. I go to wood service projects with my husband so my children can participate and learn from priesthood examples, even when we are the only ones who show. I helped an elderly woman who I've never met but is a friend of a friend and been evicted from her home to move. I sacrifice my time, my talents, and my money and strength to build up the kingdom of Heaven wherever possible, I spend my days and nights seeking out ways to serve, love, strengthen and uplift.
I disappointed you, anonymous. I am sorry. I try to control my language, and usually manage. But I am not a perfect person, I even drink WAY too much caffeinated soda. On SUNDAY!! I will allow my son to practice basketball this winter on Sunday, and we attend the fair on Sunday when he is showing for his 4H project.
Judge me as you will, but my only critic I worry about is my God, and so far he tells me I'm doing just fine. I repent of all my sins, even when it takes time, and I pray to love those who offend and assume that they do not understand. I only hope you can do the same, and understand I am not on this Earth to impress anyone but my Heavenly Father.